Questioning…

Whining children.

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<Shudder>

Those two words strike fear into my heart much the same way “root canal” does.

When my health is back up to 100%, I fully intend to eradicate all whining from the premises.  It will simply not be allowed, end of discussion.  I shall fear it no more! I shall wipe it out with mothering/parenting awesomeness… and a lot of help from God.

That’s the plan anyway.

In the mean time, though, while I’m blessed with all this extra time to ponder the mysteries of the universe, I shall make an attempt to eradicate a different kind of whining. The kind I’m guilty of myself all the time in my own way.

“No fair!  He’s got the bluuuuuuuuuuue plate! Why isn’t MY plate blue????”

Mm-hm.  If you have kids, you’ve been there, heard that rant:

The child who cannot see the food for the color/shape/size of the plate its been served on.

I hate when that happens.

I just want to say, “LOOK! KID!  Food!  On your plate!  Yummy food!  I made it especially for you at great sacrifice because I love you and want. you. to. eat. it.  Is this entirely necessary?”

That’s not very compassionate, though, and ranting and raving back at the Whiny Child doesn’t do much for them.  This is why the oldest child is “deprived” and the youngest child gets whatever color plate they want when they are two years old.

I’m hoping that in the end, the outcome proves….

(1) it really doesn’t matter all that much what the toddler’s plate color is and

(2) it really doesn’t matter all that much how often I cater to the shenanigans of tired 2 year olds at dinner time.

Pick your battles!  It’s just not worth it!

Six year olds, though… They get to put on their big boy pants and eat their dinner on whatever plate they’re dealt.  Just for the record.  Nobody will starve if they refuse one meal served on the wrong plate.

So, friends, let’s talk whining.

There’s this whole Ordain Women organization.

I know, I know, that was so last month.

No, I don’t intend to stir up the hornets nest all over again now that everything seems to have quieted down.  But! I do feel like I have two cents to offer and it’s going to BOTH SIDES of this…. topic.

(Note the word choice: not controversy, not debate, not anything.  Just this subject.
Women in the LDS Church & the priesthood.)

With that whiny child lead-in,

you might think I’m going to judgmentally point fingers at “whiny” Ordain-Women-ers. NOT SO!  

For one thing, I didn’t see much whining over there on their website, nor did I hear much whining when my roommate at BYU-Provo was the President of the Feminist Club there.  Did you know they have one of those?  They do!  I heard from both the roommate and the OW site lots of thinking and just plain old inquisitiveness.  In between the lines I saw pain and heartache and confusion.  I’m perceptive like that.

But again, not a lot of whining – for which I was grateful.

Yes, I scanned the profiles @ the Ordain Women site, looking for that old roommate of mine – just in case.  I loved her & would love to see how things are going for her now.   During our last conversation, 11 years ago, she found out how I was engaged and excitedly told me how SHE -The Feminist!- dropped a lifelong dream of being an intern in DC… because she had, and I quote, “met a boy and fell in love and now we’re getting marrrrrried!” No joke!  I was floored!

Sorry. I digress. It was such a great story, I couldn’t resist. Proof positive people can change, and quickly!  Something tells me she might not be trying to get into Priesthood Session any more.

With all this rambling lead-in,

You also probably think this is going to be unbearably long and you might as well quit reading now. NOT SO!

That’s right.  I’m going to restrain myself here and chop my humorous pontificating up in to little pieces.  You can just wait ’til to tomorrow to read more if you want to. HA!

But, Yes, back to whining.

It’s a good idea every once in a while for me to think about my whiny status as it relates to our Heavenly Father.  I bet He appreciates our efforts to put on our “big boy pants” and get over perceived injustices.  Forgive and move on.  But…

When we ask questions, are we therefore whining?

No! Not necessarily.

That depends a lot on the intonation of the questioning, doesn’t it.  Not every child who would prefer a certain plate is a big fat whiner who needs a good spanking.  Nope.

It may not seem like a big deal to me (I really don’t care as long as the food is yummy!) but to some kids in some stages, hey, that’s important to them. And when a calm, happy child gratefully praises my cooking and sweetly asks for the blue plate, guess what?  They get it! The answer is not always “No.”

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So, Sister, when your neighbor calmly asks if women should be ordained to the priesthood, don’t go all crazy on them.  No, really!  Think about it.  Do you immediately dismiss her (or him) as a lunatic?  Do you question her (or his) testimony and/or relationship with God?

You probably don’t.  But at one point in my life, I would have.  I would have been the whiny child tattling on the other kid… Yep.  Not very nice of me.

There have been times in my life where I’ve had questions, too.  Some of the answers took years of thinking, researching, and pondering to find.  In hindsight, some answers were handed to me right out, plain as day, as soon as I asked the question – but until I spent the time searching, I could not see them!  I could not understand them.  I could not appreciate them.

Some answers must be won. Some answers are still yet to be found.

So when I see someone questioning something,

I just listen.  That’s what they need more than anything else.

And to the questioning Sister or Brother,

As I dug around a bit on the Ordain Women website, I was grateful to find that they didn’t allow hate-speech.  They weren’t trying to rebel, exactly.  They just… Want women to be performing ordinances & holding positions of leadership that have been reserved for males.  Female bishops.  Female Stake Presidents.  Female deacons, teachers, priests…

Rocking the boat?  Um, yeah.

Do I want things to change?  Um, no.  I’m happy with the way things are.

Am I afraid of the question-askers?  Do I think they’re evil and ought to be shunned for all this attempted boat rocking?

Again, no.

There are other things that SHOULD be shunned like the plague they are.  That’s a different discussion for a different day.

Will I defend The Way Things Are?  

Yes.

Partly because as I perused their arguments, I also didn’t see much discussion about  or understanding of how much a part of the priesthood women already are, but that’s one of those subtle things we don’t talk about.

Does the questioning and the searching for more light on the subject divide us? Are we grateful for what we have? Do we even realize what we have? Are we striving to be more united and loving and understanding and compassionate?

If so, go ahead and ask whatever questions you have!  I won’t join them in asking for tickets to Priesthood Session, but I’m grateful to have the option of watching it live now. That might not have changed if not for someone somewhere asking for it.

Speaking of questions,

I think God likes it when we ask questions and dig for more light and truth.  I believe He comes with me in my and passions and questions as I pursue them with His help. Why should He do any differently for anyone else?

In the mean time,

Aaaaaaaaaaaaaand that’s all for part one! Told you it was going to be “short.”  🙂

Oh wait.  Quotes.  Gotta throw in another quote here because I love it.

Unity in diversity

“As I tenderly acknowledge the very real pain that many single women, or married women who have not borne children, feel about any discussion of motherhood, could we consider this one possibility about our eternal female identity—our unity in our diversity? Eve was given the identity of “the mother of all living”—years, decades, perhaps centuries before she ever bore a child. It would appear that her motherhood preceded her maternity, just as surely as the perfection of the Garden preceded the struggles of mortality. I believe mother is one of those very carefully chosen words, one of those rich words—with meaning after meaning after meaning. We must not, at all costs, let that word divide us. I believe with all my heart that it is first and foremost a statement about our nature, not a head count of our children.”

-Patricia T. Holland, in this article from 1987.

Tagged as: feminism