… the walrus said,
to talk of (something someth)ings,
of shoes and ships and sealing wax,
of cabbages and kings.
Shoes. Yes, and the two year old who almost always puts them away. “Them” being the shoes everyone *else* leaves strewn all over the floor. Happy, sweet little guy. He’s awesome.
And the super-cute little purple flats I impulse-bought at K-mart because they were only, like, $2. How I love them. I didn’t realize I wear purple that often. They match everything. Shoes are great. Now I have *2* pairs I wear with regularity.
Ships. Nah, nothing to say there.
Sealing wax. Does anybody actually use that stuff any more? I bet my kids would have a field day with it.
Cabbages (not likely)…
Kings… Anybody wanna come clobber me at chess? It gets pretty boring sometimes when your husband is always out being Bishop. We haven’t had time to do something as simple as a nice, quiet, board game in a long, long time. He’d tell you it’s because I’m Exhausted Preggy-Woman, not because he’s the bishop, but if he wants to tell the story, he can write it on his blog.
In the mean time
I’ll get back to the Boredom Prevention Program that is blogging.
... Or I could just play with scarfies...
Okay. Now that we’ve covered the important things, I can catch you up on a little bit of the drama we’ve dealt with over the last month as regards Baby #5. Fortunately for you, I have answers now and can give you the punchlines. That’s why I haven’t posted about it until now. I didn’t want you worrying about the questions for which I had no answers.
What follows is not meant to be true or exact science, but is the simplest and easiest way I have to explain what’s going on. I like to think it’s fairly accurate, but it’s probably not.
Being Negative
Did you know that all of us rh-negative-blooded-people are special? Yes, we can donate our blood to you positive-people, but can’t take yours.
Nope. Our blood will take a good look at those funky rh-things hanging out on your red blood cells and say, “Whoa! What’re those??? We don’t have them, they must be bad.” —- and then the next time we see it,
“ATTACK!!!!!!!!! Die you evil rh-thingies! Die!”
I told you this was going to be watered-down, right?
Well, somehow or another, I’ve got an rh-inhibitor now that I didn’t used to have. We’re not sure how it got there, but here it is. And I’m married to a pretty positive guy. And -in case you’ve forgotten- we’re expecting Baby #5 in March.
Which means…
IF Baby5 is positive-blooded like Daddy, and
IF my resistance to rh is strong, and
IF my blood gets in there to mingle with Baby’s
(no, it shouldn’t mix, but occasionally that happens and IF it does)
THEN mine will take a look at poor, little, Baby’s rh-factor and say, “ATTACK! Kill the crazy mutant red blood cells!”
"And that's... bad..."
Yes, of course it’s bad! This is not a very nice “complication” for Baby at all. People (yes, even prenatal people) need their red blood cells. It’s not so good if they have something in there killing off the oxygen-carriers.
Those are three big “if”s, though.
So….
What does that mean for me right now?
(1) More bloodwork than normal so they can check the strength of my rh-inhibitor.
(2) Another home birth is not a likely option.
Waaaaaaaaaa!!!!!!!!!!!!
Let’s talk about the good news.
My “resistance” to those rh-thingies is so weak they can’t even test it,
ALLELUIA!
and
IF it stays low, chances are there won’t be any serious “complications” at all — even with a positive-blooded-baby, even after delivery. Yay!
That news made me even happier than sneaking into makeup made them!
Best-case scenario,
IF Baby5 is negative-blooded, there is no complication to this pregnancy. None! I can’t attack that funky rh-factor if it isn’t there. Totally normal pregnancy/delivery.
Oh goody!
Maybe I will consider that home birth after all…
Ooh, I like the sound of that.
Who am I kidding? I LOVE the sound of that! My home birth with Freedom was the most awesome, amazing, beautiful, sacred experience of my life.
Mind if I soapbox here for a while? Okay, I won’t. Cut, paste to a different post, and I’ll simply say…
I was totally looking forward to another home birth. I’ll show you.
This is me thinking about home births:
Happy, Confident, "I know something you don't know"
This is me thinking about hospital births:
Oh, fiddle.
But, no, a home birth isn’t likely. For this baby or any others of mine.
Don’t get me thinking about that deeply, though, or I’ll end up being a basket-case and crying about it the whole stinkin’ day. (Again.)
Of all the ironies…
I, who am a HUGE fan of home births,
I, whose favorite thing to do is try to teach women how extreeeeeeeeeeemely unlikely is the event of a complication during delivery (following a normal, healthy pregnancy),
I, who actually enjoy seeing the outright disbelief on the faces of people who hear that a midwife-attended home birth is SAFER than a hospital birth (following a normal, healthy pregnancy)….
really, you’re far more likely to die in a car accident on the way to the hospital!
I got stuck with a complication that really should land me in a hospital for delivery.
IF Baby5 turns out to be positive-blooded, there’s a *chance* he or she might need a blood transfusion at birth. Yes, like, immediately after delivery. It’s not a sure-thing, going-to-happen event (especially if my resistance stays low) but it could happen. Even the fabulous Holly (my amazing home birth-midwife) isn’t equipped to do something like that.
But, hey, at least I can still “go natural.”
And… call me crazy… I’m thinking about bringing my OWN bathrobe this time instead of wearing their lovely, revealing hospital gowns. Just to see if I can. I mean, what are they going to do?
Send me home?
Thanks for letting me borrow your face, Lou. That's exactly it.
{ 16 comments… read them below or add one }
i beleive the line is “to speak of many things”. but i can’t be totally sure. i’m too lazy to google it right now. also, super bummer about the home birth. lets all cross our fingers (and pray, of course!) that the baby is as negative as you! lol. also, one of these days i’m going to show up at your door and temporarily relieve you of a little boredom. just warning you…in case you want to move or duck behind the couches and pretend you’re not home, ha ha.
Yeah, I think its “many things” as well. So far the story has a happy ending…so that’s good. And, as for the bored, I mean board games, you were definitely too sleepy when I was there, bishop meetings notwithstanding ;D…but we had fun anyway. Love ya!
I hope it works out for you to get a home birth. I just saw a documentary about it and I am wishing I could have mine at home now. I am planning on being much more in charge at the hospital this time. Like standing and walking around and stuff. Of course, I am glad that I had an epidural for my tailbone’s sake with Nathan, and I am glad I was finally induced with Hannah. But I am very hopeful that I will go into labor on my own this time.
Ohhhhh, I’m sorry! I hope Baby5 is negative!!
Totally bring your own bathrobe. I wouldn’t recommend white…(guess what I did last time? Yeah, couldn’t bear to wear it and ruin it. Bah.)
And you can still have a good experience at the hospital. Not ideal, but not horrible.
Totally go natural. ^_^
well, my hospital experience with Evan was quite delightful, until i wanted to go home and they wouldn’t let me… but really, it ain’t so bad. And since we’re not going to find out about boy or girl, with Hemophilia, it’s hospital for us anyhow. At least it’s only 100 yards away in case we forget anything!!
So how did they discover your inhibitor anyhow? I also have negative blood, james positive, and i think both of our kiddos are positive too. Which means i also get that lovely rhogahm shot. Love sore butts!!! I have A- and James O+, so if you need us to ship you any blood, just let us know! Of course by the time yo find out it’ll already be too late, but IF we can help we will. 🙂
Mrs. Smith, this is your great chance to show a hospital staff how it’s done! I had an interesting experience with one of my homebirths that became a transfer, and I tell you, the hospital staff had no idea what to do with a mother who did not have an epidural and was in transition AND NOT IN THE RIGHT BED! They wheeled me into the the labor room, and realized that I probably needed to be in a delivery room. As they were trying to get me into the other room, the nurse said, “You’ll have to hold in this contraction.” (I had already been holding and not pushing for 9 minutes….). I backhanded her and told her she that I did not need her help. She left the room in a huff (and luckily did not come back). While the nurses were hurriedly trying to get the “delivery bed” ready and the monitors ready, and the blood pressure things ready, I stood up out of the wheelchair and delivered my own baby. My husband caught her in his bare hands…meanwhile, the nurses were still trying to get the bed ready. 🙂
It was hilarious when my husband had to interrupt them…”Excuse me…” he waited, and they were all in such a tizzy they didn’t hear him…”Excuse me, I need something to, er, clean this up….” They were astonished. How in the world did I have my baby without their assistance–and without being in the right bed? And without a monitor?
I am glad I was in the hospital, though. The reason I was inspired to transfer was because my midwife did not carry pitocin for afterbirth bleeding and I needed it. But, oh, how fun it was.
I never felt like I was really having a “hospital” birth. I took “home” with me, and continued to act as the Queen of the Event. While many of the nurses (and the doctor), were annoyed and peevish, I felt nothing but elation, as I emerged completely and totally in power. I was informed, empowered and completely full of the Spirit. I felt like if they had even tried to do something contrary to the will of God, they would have been shocked, like with Nephi and his wicked brothers (or, I would have just backhanded them again. 🙂
Good luck, we are praying for you!!!
Hah! I can picture my wife’s face as she reads this… gosh, that poor hospital staff (not yours, ours! whenever, and whomever, they will be).
I knew there was a reason I loved you, Misty. I love love love that birth story! Everything about it, including and especially the backhand. 😉 “Hold in” a transition contraction, indeed. Verrrrrry funny. And your husband caught the baby? I’ll bet he didn’t have gloves on. Is that even possible?
When I was ready to delivery my second, the nurses were trying to get me to sign the consent-to-treat form since it had been over 30 days since I preregistered. Fortunately for them, I was too far “in the zone” to tell them how I really felt. I do remember thinking, “Lady, you can take that pen and SHOVE IT!” Ah, to be a woman in labor.
Those poor nurses. They got the shock of their lives when they finally checked me and figured out what I had been trying to tell them. They looked at each other, each said, “I don’t want to deliver a baby – do you???” and then they both ran out into the hall to grab a doctor. Ha! Fortunately I was able to wait, as Doodle’s cord was wrapped nicely around his neck and it was helpful to have someone who knew what they were doing at that point.
Thanks for the reminder that regardless of where, we can be in control of the situation. I’ll bring home with me, too!
I had this exact scare with my last baby and thought for sure that it would be my LAST baby. However it was all a miscommunication. I had become sensitized to something (still don’t know what it is) but not the RH factor so in the end it didn’t matter and I’m expecting again, #9, in March! Go March babies. I hope your numbers stay low and it’s not a big deal for you or for baby! gotta love that RH- blood. I’m telling my girls to get their blood checked and any prospective husband’s blood checked before accepting a marriage proposal just to avoid the whole Rhogam thing!! LOL.
I hope everything turns out alright!!
All three of my births have been in the hospital and have been terrible, horrific experiences. But each of those babies came home alive. I have high risk pregnancies and the last two were emergencies, as in ‘baby comes out now or someone dies’. Hospitals have their place and the Lord knows what He’s doing. I trusted Him completely with my life and those of my unborn children. Some things we can control, others we cannot. Trust in Him. And even if the hospital if awful you will come home with a wonderful baby and a great story to tell for years to come!
As a side note, I called many a midwife during my pregnancies and not a one would touch me with a ten foot pole. Oh well, more yummy hospital food for me. And my first son I delivered naturally, even though we ‘had’ to be in the hospital, I did it without drugs. It was very nice. The last two were emergency c-sections and I chose to have drugs for those…..well, you HAVE to have drugs for those. I’m GLAD I had drugs for those.
Best of luck to you and baby #5!!!!
Hi, I commented on your blog ages and ages ago and then took a really long blogging break. Yours is one of very few blogs that I actually went back and read all (well, almost all) the posts I missed during that time. There are so many random little comments I wanted to say as I read through your posts. I’ll write the ones I can remember here – they’ll be all over the place. 🙂
I loved your post about empty bowls. It made me feel much better about the fact that I haven’t been able to find that “perfect” something to go in this beautiful wood bowl on my dining room table. It’s been empty for a long time, except I did just put a butternut, acorn, and spaghetti squash in there yesterday and I’m liking those additions for the time being.
I am also an introvert! I LOVE being with my kids and I LOVE getting together with other moms – talking with them is how I process through my life and the things I didn’t realize I was thinking – but I need time by myself to recharge. However, I haven’t been able to commit to myself yet to wake up before my kids. I just try not to stay up too late after my kids are in bed.
I am also the bishop’s wife and I TOTALLY understand what you mean about the recovery process after church – and I’m not even pregnant. Sundays are utterly and completely exhausting. And I just called into the nursery so that’s not helping much. I don’t begrudge my husband the service he does as a bishop because I know we are definitely blessed and he is helping a lot of people, but I wouldn’t mind a solid hour here or there that we spend in the same room (without kids or him needing to make phone calls, etc.).
I also LOVED your mental reactions to the lady in the grocery store who made a comment about you and all your kids – I think she said something like, “I’m glad I only have 1 child.” And your reaction – “pansy” – awesome! I only have 3 kids so far but where we live on the East Coast it seems like we might as well have 10 kids. People are so shocked when I say that we’re not done. I really do feel sorry for all these only children we meet, especially in our homeschooling group, who are only children by their parents’ design.
Okay, I’m done! I’ve really enjoyed catching up on your blog and will continue to read more regularly now. I hope everything works out with the rh thing. My 3rd birth experience was in a hospital but it was still a very wonderful experience because I made it so. I used the Hypnobabies program, which basically helps you go into deep relaxation, so I was pretty much just in my own zone even in the hospital.
I really am done now – my husband just walked in the door finally done with his church duties for the night at 9 pm!
Welcome back! Thanks for letting me know you’re here. 🙂 Nice to know someone else in the same boat.
Hypnobirthing is great, isn’t it? I love it, and I was tickled pink to find a like-new copy at a rummage sale last week. Somewhere between baby #1 & baby #4, my copy got lost. It’s definitely time for a refresher read-through.
You are the fulcrum, after all. Anyone who’s read the original edition may recall an… ahem, interesting section in the middle the birthing partner – ME! – is supposed to read to the other birthing partner – MY WIFE – which we elected not to read, as the laughing muscles don’t work in conjunction with birthing muscles.
Exactly! My husband tried reading once, but I immediately realized that would be completely useless because I couldn’t focus while I was laughing so hard. He ended up just pressing my forehead with a couple of his fingers every time I had a contraction – something about pressure elsewhere in my body really helped.
Wow. Now that I’ve published my last comment I see how long it was – sorry about that!