I am in deep mourning over the likelihood of the same sex marriage bill passing, as it represents, to me, complete disregard for the way we do government in the United States. Goodbye, democratic-Republic… Hello, bondage.
But!
I am here and now going to count a few of the wonderful blessings gleaned from the governor of Hawaii shoving this bill down our throats.
1. A change of heart. If nothing else, that was worth all the everything.
2. Getting to know another couple in our ward, whose name shall not be mentioned.
3. Meeting a bazillion other wonderful people there, too, and having those heart to heart moments where our lives crossed paths and left us both changed for good. Part of that was due to just the diversity there. In our little town here, you don’t see as much diversity as we got to see downtown. I’ll never remember all the names, but I can still see clearly so many faces that each taught me something valuable.
There was the devout Methodist I could talk with as easily as anyone in my congregation. There was the Korean footzoner (except she called it something else) that saved the life of the woman having the stroke, and who let me help a smidge. (“Not me,” she said through broken English, “Jesus. God power. Through me. Not me. Not my hands. I no do anything.”)
There was the security guard who was understanding about my baby being fussy. There was the young man wearing a rainbow lei who really wanted to know why I was so sad that last day. “There’s no where for me to stand,” I said “No!” he insisted, “You always have a place with us! You’re family!” — “Oh, I know you are! And I love my rainbow lei family so much, but I cannot stand with you today – same sex marriage is not the answer. It will only cause more heartache and contention.”
I could not stand with the screaming blue shirts either.
Yes, it was a sad moment, to be there and have no place, but it was at the same time a beautiful experience, too.
4. Learning more about the Hawaiian culture. One group in particular really taught me a great deal, and I loved it.
5. Seeing unconditional love and forgiveness extended immediately. Wow, that changed my life.
6. I think I saw 3 impromptu prayer circles there in the large courtyard of the capitol building. One had probably 200 people in it, and started with everyone saying “The Lord’s Prayer.” Hearing that many people sing “Amazing Grace” was powerful… It was just a beautiful moment.
7. All those honest, open demonstrations of sincere faith.
8. Finding my voice and losing my fear of speaking to strangers.
9. The Hawaiian circle, holding hands and chanting/singing “Hawaii-Aloha e.” WOW. Wow, wow, wow, wow, wow. Never heard anything like that before. You’d think it would have ended with a moment of silence or something, but at the end it was a huge “Cheeeee-HOOO!” war cry kind of deal. Blew me away. I love this state!
10. That same night, I waited in the courtyard for Mr. Smith to try to find a kinkos. Almost everyone had cleared out, but there were a few small groups here and there. With a friend by his side, a young man knelt there near the middle, very obviously praying and lost in silent supplication to the Almighty. The mood in the air was indeed sober and quiet. After several minutes, he stood and looked solemnly up to the night sky for a while – and then he sang. In a gorgeous tenor voice he sang (like only Polynesians can sing) a song I’d never heard before, but that perfectly described my feelings with this new heart of mine.
I wanted him to sing it all night. I couldn’t find a video that even came close to the beauty of a single voice singing “Jesus, Be the Center,” without any accompaniment on a star-lit evening after a long day of politics, but that memory will live for a long long while in my heart. And so those are a few things I’m thankful for tonight.
{ 2 comments… read them below or add one }
Remember, my dear Mrs. Smith, what I told you before, what Mr. Lincoln once said? “The probability that we may fail in the struggle ought not to deter us from the support of a cause we believe to be just.” He also said this: “I see the storm coming in. I know his hand is in it. If he has a place and work for me, and I think he has, I believe I am ready. I am nothing, but truth is everything, and with God’s help, I shall not fail.”
I think, like the Nephites in Zarahemla, we are losing battles because of internal contention, so I think that even though this battle may have been lost, there were many small victories gained, and I especially appreciate you sharing it in real time; you’re unvarnished, raw emotions, in all your human frailty, because it has helped me to crystallize MY feelings about this fight, and helped me to see things more clearly…and, oh! How I wish I could have been there. Your poignant description of the tenor singing alone reminded me so much of Nephi praying on his garden tower.
Nephi lost some battles, too, but in the end, Christ called him by name… <3
I have loved reading about your journey. Good luck in the coming days.