Seeing that my trend was toward faster labors with each new baby, I (and everyone concerned) was planning for and expecting another fast delivery. I joked that I’d rather plan a homebirth than have baby that way accidentally… hahaha… but truly, I wassick of hospitals. Hospitals are for serious illnesses, injuries, and complications. And women who aren’t committed to avoiding epidurals at all costs.
From my perspective and experience, childbirth is a natural part of life, not something to fear and definitely not some big scary medical emergency. In our American culture we are taught that…
(highlight, delete)
Nevermind. This isn’t the place for me to soapbox about childbirth. It’s something I feel quite strongly about, so it’s hard to hold back, but I shall. (delete, delete, delete…)
After having 3 unmedicated and uncomplicated deliveries, and no reason to expect that the fourth would be any different,a homebirth (with a midwife) seemed like a good fit for me. Not for everybody, but a great fit for me. It goes without saying, doesn’t it?, that I wouldn’t be so stupid as to plan on birthing unattended. Something as simple as a cord around baby’s neck could end up being fatal without someone there who knows what they’re doing.
Other factors tipping the scale in favor of ditching the hospital idea:
~ I had a friend do a homebirth earlier this year. Nothing like that to help you realize that it doesn’t make you a crazy wacko to plan a homebirth. 😉 (And, funny enough, since I’ve done it I’ve found about a half-dozen ladies who’ve either done it or are planning to do it. It’s a secret club I’ve been initiated into, apparently! No one wants to have everyone thinking they’re a crazy wacko after all…)
~ John has this amazing cousin who is a direct-entry (meaning, homebirth/birthing center-certified) midwife. Tremendously talented woman, but also very very busy… 16 kids at home, very involved politically… and to my great surprise, she actually searched me out and let me know she would loveto help me with a homebirth if I was interested. Made it sound like I’d be doing her a favor to let her be my midwife. (Amazing!) She was a wonderful source of information as I did my researching and pondering about it. I wouldn’t have done this without her.
Speaking of John, though, he wasn’t terribly comfortable with the idea. Even right up until I went into labor… but… oh well. Swell guy that he is, he said things like, “If that’s what you want, that’s what we’ll plan for” and “You’re the one actually giving birth, you’re the one it means so much to, and you’re the one that will remember the experience long after my memory fades, so we should go with your preference.” He also said things like, “I’d never forgive myself if something were to happen to you or baby…”
But I knew nothing scary would happen. I knew it, so I said things like, “Aw, c’mon, where’s your faith?” and “Stop worrying, you pansy. Don’t rain on my parade.” Well, okay, maybe I didn’t say that last one. He’s too good to me to merit that kind of treatment. But seriously. The chances are much higher we’d die in an accident on the way to the hospital than that “something” would happen during delivery (It’s true, look it up!), especially since my track record is flawless in this department.
And IF (that great big, two-letter word)… I knew that
(a) the hospital is only 15 minutes away. 10 if we got lucky with lights. — and
(b) Holly is totally able to keep me and/or baby alive until we could get serious medical attention. That’s what she (and all her life-support-stuff) would be there for!
I wouldn’t have been ready for a homebirth with my first, but the time was right for baby #4.
{ 3 comments… read them below or add one }
I love this story – can’t wait for the next part. You are a super writer, I love your take on things. I wish we lived closer and could get together sometimes.
I would love, love, LOVE to do a homebirth! Maybe with my fourth I’ll get to… but unfortunately this time around it comes down to a, pay for midwife for homebirth or b, nearly free hospital birth with CNMs. So…b wins.
But in my heart of hearts I want a home water birth.
So I’m absolutely fascinated by your posts on the subject and someday we should get together and chat. Lots. ^_^
(And I’ve gotten myself in trouble for my stand on childbirth so I, too, have learned to use the delete key…)
I’m still stuck on the “sixteen kids at home” line.