Awesome Quote
Hi.
I’ve been a lazy blogger lately.
Sorry, I still can’t use the word “lazy” without thinking of Lara Gallagher. (I miss your blog, my friend, but I admire your decision to stay away from this crazy addiction.)
It’s that 2-year-old mess maker, honestly. I just had to save the playmobil people from drowning in grape jam. It was lovely, and all over the counter, too. Once again, no picture. Sorry. I guess I just don’t want to remember these crazy adventures.
But earlier today I found this awesome blurb over on a new blog John found. Well, new to me anyway, and it feels like I’ve added another weapon to my arsenal of Mothers Who Know. We crazy, thinking-out-of-the-box, wackos have to stick together you know.
This lovely little tidbit was found on this post.
“The very medium TV uses (not just the actual programs) “desensitizes the centers in the brain responsible for receiving and processing visual information… the longer children sit in front of their TVs, the longer it takes before they snap out of a state of reduced neocortical control, and the more likely it is that their behavior will be influenced by the material they have been viewing (Teaching the Restless by Mercogliano p.174-5).” So think: hyperactivity, impulsiveness, and aggression.”
Wow. I haven’t read “Teaching the Restless” but it sounds like it’s right up my alley! There was a reason I majored in Family Science (read: child development) and took classes like Cognitive Development. It’s absolutely fascinating to me.
Soapbox Alert!!!
And here we have it. Scientific backup that my kids really did need to “detox” every time we fell back into our pattern of abusing the Pixar-babysitter! Granted, it was pretty obvious and I didn’t really need backup on this point. Nope.
I tell you, my mother’s heart knew it was a bad idea. Even if I stuck with something “innocent” and “harmless,” or -better yet- “educational” — I just couldn’t feel okay with the movie-watching we were doing. Oh, how many “but…” statements I used!
Even if…
“It’s not as bad as television…” or
“I have a really good excuse…” (read: pregnancy) or
“How else am I supposed to get anything done?!” or
“Everyone else is doing it…” or
“It’s teaching them x, y, z….”
I could tell it was harming my children. Changing them. Altering their likes, their God-given talents and passions, their expectations of themselves and of life, their values. Changing the way their brains worked.
Can you not see it happen in yours?
If not, well, aren’t you lucky.
Control Freak
Yep. I want to be in control of those things, especially when my children are young and I really do control their world.
Okay, okay, I can’t control their likes or their talents or passions. But you can bet I’ll use every tool I can to steer them in the right direction, and I can nurture them into things that will bless the world instead of letting the media twist them into something perverse, harmful, and/or immoral.
Really.
I have a 6y.o. daughter who still thinks that beauty of face and body are the primary basis for self-worth. Tell me that’s not harmful, and tell me Disney didn’t help teach it to her. I dare you. The gauntlet has been cast. (Sorry. I try not to get mean and nasty here in Blogland, but this is a sensitive topic for me.)
And even if I was able to keep them plugged into only lovely, “educational” type media, I am thoroughly convinced it will harm their little, growing brains. It simply will not help them learn to think for themselves.
Our Weak Spot
The first weak spot was my second pregnancy and a 15-month old who wanted to get up at 5:30am. Not a great combination. I’d let her climb in my bed, hit “play” on Finding Nemo, and sleep for 2 more blissful hours. Hence the tendency to break out in “Just keep swimming, just keep swimming…” or “I wish I could speak whale,” or “Stay awake! Stay awake!”
Then it was the 3 year old that would NOT let herself wind down enough to nap. She’d get tired in the afternoon, and then there was no reasoning with the little monster she turned into. My only out was to plug her in front of a movie and brace myself for the onslaught when the credits started rolling.
Why didn’t I just take the time to sit with her and read? She loved that, and so did I. My oh my, isn’t hindsight 20/2o. If I had found the right books, I could have had her laying with her head in my lap every bit as long as she’d stare at Nemo. Not every 3 year old would do that, but she would have. She would be “resting,” and her brain would be “feeding,” we would be bonding, and life would go on without those dishes washed. I’m pretty sure it would have, anyway.
So!
Think of creative ways out of your weak spot. There has to be a better way. Start a “Mothers Against Media” support group in your neighborhood so you can all commiserate together. Brace yourself for a good two months of “detox” while your little munchkins relearn how to think. Get rid of the wrong toys, find the right ones…
… and if you figure out how to teach little children to clean up after themselves, PLEASE let me know. We’re drowning here in all this creativity!
Disclaimer: “Even if…” you don’t have a problem with letting your kids watch stuff on television, we can still be friends. Really. I promise. Please don’t run away screaming. And I’ll even let mine watch stuff when they come over to your house. I’m not going to tell you how to run your home, even if it sounds like I just did. Blogs are funny that way, you know. I *might* even enjoy the “break.” I just won’t enjoy the detox later.
Great post!
Agree!! My kids are much happier when the tv is off, and they know it’s not coming on again anytime soon.
If only i could convince daddy that his tv watching isn’t good for the kids either… perhaps when school starts in a few weeks he won’t have time for tv anyhow.
love your posts and your thoughts. we also have been working on getting media and the “wrong” toys out of our home. my problem now i s knowing what the “right” toys are. any ideas? and where do i get them? i’m just at the end of dejunking and detoxing i’m so afraid to get the wrong kind of toys again but feel that my kiddies need something.
How old are they? What are their interests? Girls? Boys? Most really worthwhile toys tend to work for a large age span & can be gender-neutral-ish.
Think simple. It’s incredible how much joy my children get out of playing with their silk squares. I love how they’re silky, but really any fabric (about a square yard) would work. You could search for “toys” at http://www.lazyorganizer.com to start off, and read that “Headgates” article for some ideas, too. Good luck & congratulations on all the dejunking!
How old are they? What are their interests? Girls? Boys? Most really worthwhile toys tend to work for a large age span & can be gender-neutral-ish.
Think simple. It’s incredible how much joy my children get out of playing with their silk squares. I love how they’re silky, but really any fabric (about a square yard) would work. You could search for “toys” at http://www.lazyorganizer.com to start off, and read that “Headgates” article for some ideas, too. Good luck & congratulations on all the dejunking!
Here are a list of the “toys” Mrs. Smith played with:
- Colored pencils and paper
- Books (Anne of Green Gables and similar)
- Rainbow Bright stuff
- Books (Thornton W. Burgess books – best children’s books ever)
- Fairy Winkles (did I get that right)
- Books (Chronicles of Narnia)
- Playmobile
- Books and tapes (Cinderalla, Snow White, Mary Poppins)
- Legos
- more books
Mrs Smith’s dad
Actually, Fairy Winkles was mostly the two youngest kids in our family. They played with them clear until…. well, I won’t tell you how old my *brother* was. It was awesome, though.
Can I share a funny? I read this directly after reading a post in which one of my friends was praising “Letter Factory” because now her two and a half year old daughter knew the sounds most of the letters make. And I sat through it saying “But, but…that much tv?” and wondering if any one of my friends would feel the same way.
HA. I love you. Seriously. I needed that post. We’ve had a few too many tv days recently (construction, wonderful excuse, eh?) and I’m totally paying for it. They’d been so GOOD for so long and now I find myself wondering if I’m in my right mind with the homeschooling.
*kicks self* Yeah. Quit the tv, stupid.
If you’re starting a support group, I’m in. ^_^
Sweet. I am so starting one. You can be co-founder.
I got a kick out of your Letter Factory story… I fell for that one, too! And it “worked,” alright, if your goal is to have your kid spit the right answer back out at you. Huh. In hindsight, I’d rather not send my kid through the “factory” to learn her letters.
PS: Construction is a pretty good excuse, as far as excuses go.
Okay! Name the medium, I’m there (is Facebook too hypocritical? lol). As of Monday, tomorrow if I can get hubby on board that fast (Sunday is nap day for parents and sometimes ends up with a plethora of nature programs to keep kids quiet), the thing goes off for the kids again. I watch when I’m nursing alone at night, but during the day, it’s gonna stay off. We’re gonna do SCHOOL!
When Mrs Smith was young we went off TV and homeschooled (Mrs Smith asked her mom to be home schooled, what an amazing daughter). One of the bigger ah hah moments for me was the fall of that year when we asked the kids what they wanted for Christmas. They had no immediate answers. They were stumped and had to really think. No TV to tell them what they wanted.
Great post Mrs Smith
Love Dad
(Public school was boring!)
How long were we off TV, Dad? 4 years? 5? It was our month in Germany that spawned the cut-the-cable idea, right?
can i be in your mothers against media group too? and what are fairy winkles? i’m intrigued!
also, do boys like the playsilks too? i’d love to start working on getting those, but i can’t decide if my two boys will actually play with them…and i don’t want to waste money…i’m sure Creativity loves them, but do all your little boys love them too?
Yes, the boys play with the silkies, too. They wear ‘em as pirate hats, sheaths for swords, loops for holding “booty” and other imaginative ways.
Yep. In fact, the 2yo boy is currently the biggest fan of them. He loves to be a super-hero (tied like a cape) & a puppy (tied around his waist like a “leash”). There’s just no end to what they’ll do with these. Keep asking questions though. The more I think about it, the closer I am to tossing ALL the other toys and just keeping the silkies.
I know it does seem like a pretty girly toy. Find or make them in bold, “manly” colors if you think it might help your crew.
Imagine a chanting voice… “Do it, do it, do it!”
the one thing about having a kid who’s never watched tv or movies is he doesn’t know anything about pirates or superheroes, lol. he does know about puppies, though. i guess the more reading we do the more he’ll learn about those things…
Super Dog: Heart of a Hero, by Caralyn Beuhner, is a pretty adorable book. I’m pretty sure that’s why my 2yo tends to put the superhero/puppy thing together.