I’m in a whiny mood and I’m blaming it on my kids. They’re rubbing off on me. (Did movie-detox take this long last time? I am SOOOOO ready for the nice, sweet, mild-mannered Cinderella to come back. So ready.)
So I shall now procede to do exactly what I’ve been trying to get my kids to stop doing all day, and take my turn blasting out discontentment although it will not change the circumstance.
Why is my house SO messy? Man, it drives me crazy!
Why? Because it makes me feel like a complete and total failure.
Why? Because I feel like I should be able to maintain some semblance of order and cleanliness. No amount of telling myself “it doesn’t matter” seems to have an impact on this mindset.
Why? Because is DOES matter, dagnabbit!
Why?
Wait.
No more why’s. Cinderella’s been doing that lately with a gleam in her eyes that says, “Yes, I am indeed trying to be annoying. And the more it gets to you, the more I love it. Muwahahaha!”
Carry on.
And don’t tell me I brought this mess on myself by having so many kids so close together. It may be true… but then again it may not be. I rarely had a clean room growing up and before we had kids it wasn’t clean and orderly either. If I could just blame it on the munchkins, it would be easier. And anyway, I obviously can’t change the fact that there are 4 kids under 6 here, and furthermore, I *wouldn’t* change it. I wouldn’t trade them (and their close spacing) for anything. Anything.
Yes, even a clean house. Sigh.
True, the challenges of having a new baby and a not-2-yet toddler do get to me occassionally. Maybe 3 times a week I find myself inwardly screaming at the impossibility of being 3 places at once, or hurting my brain by trying to pick which crying, needy problem to fix first. But it’s so worth it. You should see how well C & D play together. I know E & F will play just like that in a year or two, and I will be blessing all these months I spend dealing with… what I’m dealing with.
And it’s not all weeping and wailing and gnashing of teeth. Eagle melts my heart daily with the way he LOVES his baby brother. The first time he sees Freedom in the morning it’s a big, big deal. “Fankie!!!!!” he squeals in his adorable little learning-to-speak voice, and then if he can get to him he cuddles his head next to his chubby little brother’s. Adorable. And it happens every single morning, and often after E’s naps, too.
Hm. Wasn’t I supposed to be whining? Well, at some point one has to give it up. I am resigned to my fate. It’s 8:30pm. I shall either clean things before bed or I shan’t. If I do, I’ll thank me later. If I don’t, life will go on.
PS: There’s something really funny to me about that phrase “I’ll thank me later.” It was going to be the title of a great little post about housework awhile back, but I didn’t get to it. I was probably cleaning instead of blogging. Ha! Silly me.
Alrighty. Time to
